CAMP TO BELONG MAINE

Camp To Belong Maine (CTBM) is a program which reunites brothers and sisters separated through foster care or other out-of-home placement.

Siblings often share the longest and strongest relationships.  They understand each other better than anyone else and are uniquely connected, sharing the ups and downs throughout their lifetime. CTBM was created to provide separated brothers and sisters the opportunity to strengthen their sibling bonds, celebrate birthdays together and most importantly, have fun together. These moments build memories that will be cherished for a lifetime and demonstrate the power of family, the strength of the sibling bond and the importance of permanency planning.

The 2006 session set the standard for what we aspire to achieve. Of the 64 campers who attended, six were Counselors In Training (CITs). CITs are youth in care who previously attended a CTBM session. These 6 were the first CITs in the Maine camp and they were a big reason for the success of this year’s Camp experience. They all attended with their siblings, so they had the complex role of balancing between camper and counselor. While they enjoyed the time they had to spend with brothers and sisters, they also knew they were important role models and supports for others, especially those campers who were younger and those who were new and just learning what CTBM is all about.

Camp days are busy, long and sometimes emotional as siblings experience their feelings for and about each other, as well as their separation from each other. During the first days of camp, everyone must contend with some of the anxiety that comes from getting to know one another. The last few days of camp are filled with the emotions of separating and the dread of leaving Camp and their siblings. Counselors have to be ready for tears, laughter, anger, frustration, exuberance, silliness, challenges and listening to heartfelt longings. The difficulty of their loss shows us all how imperative it is to help them reconnect.

The week provides opportunities for siblings to play together, encourage one another, share new experiences, and create shared memories. They make Sibling Pillows with heart-felt messages for each other, scrapbooks to hold cherished photos and everyone’s birthday is celebrated with siblings swapping gifts from the “camp store.”

The week was not without the challenges of brothers and sisters who experience such longing for one another, frustration with one another for the complexity of their life situations and confusion over building a bond with someone who has been absent from their daily lives. This was evident in moments of lashing out, avoidance and the erection of walls to protect themselves from further hurt. With some time, youth began to build positive connections with their siblings. Support from counselors helped through conflicts and challenges. Campers were able to build on their relationship through non-threatening activities like the climbing wall, tubing behind the speed boat, enjoying the 50s Sock Hop and playing games at the Carnival. Youth showed thoughtfulness for their siblings while selecting a gift for one another, creating a dream box for their sibling and making inscriptions on pillows or quilts. The birthday party was celebratory and moving as youth presented their quilts and expressed their love and longing for their siblings. Campers, who began the week warily, with suspicion or shyness, ended it with more openness, which brought laughter and tears, and rightly so.

The last night was filled with equal emotion as campers prepared to leave. Many spoke at the closing campfire about the meaning of the week they had just spent together and their hope to be reunified. There were many campers who tearfully said they didn’t want to leave camp and their sibling.  It was celebratory and sad at the same time. The campfire was closed by a group of youth leading the entire camp in a song in front of the roaring fire (lyrics included “I hope you had the time of your life”), followed by a counselor singing a verse of Amazing Grace.

A Camp Wigwam tradition, called Auch Du Schöene, has become a tradition for Camp To Belong Maine. Auch Du Schöene (German for Isn’t It Beautiful?) is sung while a collage of artwork is unfurled showing the highlights of the camp week. The last verse was sung with such vigor the room was rich with the sounds of voices singing together. It was beautiful. We then ended with a slide show of campers, counselors and the activities of the week.

Of the campers who attended Camp To Belong Maine, some see each other weekly; others have not seen one another since the last camp session or longer. Two brothers who lived 3 hours apart after last year’s camp advocated to be moved closer to one another. They now live 3 miles apart and attend the same high school. A sibling group of four attended camp for the 3^rd consecutive year. All living separately, they described that camp provided an opportunity to really get to know one another through spending solid time together with arguments and apologies, fun and laughter, and supporting one another through emotional times. A young man talked in his cabin late at night about his struggle to build a relationship with his sibling that he had not seen in years. He described how she is just another girl, since they have not had formative experiences as siblings. Another young man talked about how he got to know his brother this week and he learned that he really wasn’t bad.

Camp To Belong Maine is not the ultimate solution for siblings who are separated by foster care and adoption. Siblings will tell you that they should live in the same home, supported by families who care for them. Until that occurs, CTBM is giving children separated from their siblings something that is irreplaceable. Camp To Belong provides youth with formative experiences that support the development and deepening of the sibling bond. They go to sleep in the same place and awake in the same place. They eat meals together for a solid week’s time. There is no therapy. They play, have arguments, make up and cheer for one another. They spend the week with a peer group that has similar experiences, reducing the sense of isolation.  They go home with dream boxes filled with good wishes, pillows from their sibling to lay their heads on or a quilt from their sibling to bring them warmth.  They take with them photographs, scrapbooks, and memories they would otherwise not have.

We are already planning the 4th season of CTBM at Camp Wigwam in Waterford (August 11, 2007 - August 19, 2007). Sustaining the ongoing impact of Camp To Belong Maine is reliant on the involvement of community members to help get the message out, to mobilize community volunteers, to raise funds and secure the resources to ensure that Camp To Belong Maine is here for as long as there is a need.  For more information, contact the CTBM Coordinator, Heidi M. Krieger at 207-780-5868 or hkrieger@usm.maine.edu.

Adapted from “Camp To Belong Maine:  Three Years in Review